We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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