I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
