bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize