maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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