remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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