Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
