hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
how does that bad decision feel?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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