There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
