her vagine was all disorganized.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
