stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
