so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
