just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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