i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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