I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i think i have two assholes
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
