You're so nebulous sometimes
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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