what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize