This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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