You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
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