So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
