Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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