just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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