At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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