So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Randomize
