dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
you never un-have a 4some
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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