i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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