The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
