Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
