so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
