I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
True strength comes from lack of pants
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
