Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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