I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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