she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
