i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
