Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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