He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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