Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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