Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
