i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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