Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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