You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
