I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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