dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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