I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
