I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
