Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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