Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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