Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
