Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
