So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
