I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
