Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
