There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
