Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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