brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I forgot wine drunk hurts
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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