party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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